The latest Unidentified Anomalous Phenomenon (UAP) (commonly known as a UFO) was recently seen flying over the Orange County coastline in California. This cylindrical object appeared to be of the high-performance quality featuring 8 ports merging into one large opening. It flew over the Joint Forces Training Base in Los Alamitos from the Wilmington area over the beaches of Orange County and out over the Pacific Ocean. The object seemed to dance along in a timed rhythm best described in a 1, 8, 4, 3, 6, 5, 7, 2 order.
Immediately sorties were called up to investigate the object at closer review. Capt. Pete "Maverick" Mitchell called on the secure line that the object is revealed to be definitely NOT from China. The quality of material and expertise in its construction could not have been made from forced child labor. Wingman Nick ‘Goose’ Bradshaw was not deterred by the massive object. He made several passes. "Goose" a well known drag-racer at nearby Lion's Dragstrip knows a thing or two about high performance.
Interesting factoid, after repeated sortie attempts our best fighters could not shoot it down! It eventually fell near a tanker waiting off the coast where the U.S. Coast Guard quickly recovered the object. It was brought to the U.S. Coast Guard District 11 LA/Long Beach HQ. Goose made his way to go see the item and help in its identification.
At first glance Goose knew exactly what this fascinating device is. He had heard rumors of it last Friday night in the pits at the drag strip. Thought to be just folklore, apparently this unicorn, this big foot, yes, even this yeti was real. It is in fact an experimental 8:1 Collector from Burns Stainless' Relentless Innovations Lab in Costa Mesa, California. Apparently Carl Olson was testing a new exhaust system on his top fuel dragster at Lion's earlier that day and mistook nitro glycerin for Nitro-Methane and he blew the collector straight up and into the stratosphere.
Even with the blown collector, Olson made the fastest pass of his career, too bad it was only in the test and tune and not an actual race. NHRA officials quickly met and deemed this type of technology is not allowed in the rule-book and thus the 8:1 collector goes back into the shadows of folklore like Nessie or the Blair Witch.
Although, if you are not racing in NHRA and want to have a fantastical part of your high-performance exhaust system, Burns Stainless offers their Relentless Innovations in Merge Collectors designed specifically for your racer with their X-Design Parametric Exhaust Modeling Program.
